I told it several times, tried to convince the stubborn alter ego
T’ didn’t yield the exact results though pure was the motto
T’ insists on revels in the memory of the bygone
Undermines all my efforts I made since dawn
T’ goes on to argue my position with a rebellion rant
Says it was I who set it up contrary to its want
T’ still yearns for the sunny mornings and warm days
Blaming me for the tempest that me creates
Sleepless nights, restless days, diffident smiles and hollow laughter
Like an aimless arrow it runs towards a goal that is not an honour
Like a crying child wanting to be lapped by its mother
T’ hopes for a fate similar that’s better
T’ is doing what it could while I am what I should
Premises I don’t have to act on it so rude
They say there is good in everything he does
Long lost the reasons to believe in those words
If he can’t act God, I too should get a reprieve
Battling humans, struggling men isn’t that a sight so trite
Oh I must be punished for questioning the incontestable reality
But grant me a patient hearing if it’s not the time yet for your benignity
What does one do when the destiny conspires
Where does one take refuge when the soul has no desires
Why & how are long left conundrums that I do not seek
All I long now is some silence for my heart that is weak
With each ticking second I am nearing towards you
I hope to start a conversation that’s long overdue
Left little to chance, I aim to make a fresh beginning
I lost hope here and I can't see anyone ushering
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Saturday, February 19, 2011
Lazy is not a bad word
Few things in life are as boring as prolonged inflicted boredom. Last days of my academic career are so unlike MBA in its nature, sans classroom sessions, presentations, submissions reports and et al. I am not ruing the lack of them but I am definitely not liking the absence of any solid alternative. These days throw my memory back to the long summer vacations I enjoyed doing nothing, semi-long winter vacations spent playing cricket and badminton with equal fervour. Alas, I am a grown up now and not that lucky anymore to enjoy simple pleasures of life. So what am I supposed to do?
“Watch movies”, is the immediate response from the left side of the brain also echoed by some friends who also justify gross indulgence in this act citing this period as the last such phase in my life when I am entitled to have ‘fun’. I did give in. I did watch a lot of movies during this period; some were good and some not so good. Like everything in life, I got bored of watching movies and was now looking for some meaningful activity in my life.
“Write something”, ranted my brains to disapprove of my obsessions with the movies hoping to proselytize me to standard intellectual faith in reading and writing. So I wrote. In search of a muse I started to think but with the burden of an overwhelming thought proving too much to handle I started writing about everything, poems, and blogs about non de script matters, which appeal to me only in a certain state of mind. My honeymoon with writing lasted only for a few days but we separated to meet soon with the hope that future will correct the mistakes of the past.
“Why not read?” For once I was able to answer my brains with my chins up and confidence high that I always read a few pages of Nietzsche or Dostoevsky. Having said that I had to admit it to my brains that I wasn’t reading enough. 10 odd pages every night don’t make one a keen reader. With renewed love for reading I thought in my mind to do more justice to the wonderful writers. I have made a humble beginning but there is a long night to go before I sleep.
There are only a few more days left before I like my other batch mates would enter the corporate world where I am told man’s sense of the left brain blunts. I will do well to take care of that. But if I weren’t lazy, I wouldn’t have thought in such detail about my past, present and future, if I weren’t lazy, I wouldn’t have buried myself in wonderful pieces of literature, if I weren’t lazy I wouldn’t have watched tons of gigabytes of movies sitting princely on my sorry looking bed. I thought I would take this opportunity to mention this to my friends that after all lazy is not such a bad word.
“Watch movies”, is the immediate response from the left side of the brain also echoed by some friends who also justify gross indulgence in this act citing this period as the last such phase in my life when I am entitled to have ‘fun’. I did give in. I did watch a lot of movies during this period; some were good and some not so good. Like everything in life, I got bored of watching movies and was now looking for some meaningful activity in my life.
“Write something”, ranted my brains to disapprove of my obsessions with the movies hoping to proselytize me to standard intellectual faith in reading and writing. So I wrote. In search of a muse I started to think but with the burden of an overwhelming thought proving too much to handle I started writing about everything, poems, and blogs about non de script matters, which appeal to me only in a certain state of mind. My honeymoon with writing lasted only for a few days but we separated to meet soon with the hope that future will correct the mistakes of the past.
“Why not read?” For once I was able to answer my brains with my chins up and confidence high that I always read a few pages of Nietzsche or Dostoevsky. Having said that I had to admit it to my brains that I wasn’t reading enough. 10 odd pages every night don’t make one a keen reader. With renewed love for reading I thought in my mind to do more justice to the wonderful writers. I have made a humble beginning but there is a long night to go before I sleep.
There are only a few more days left before I like my other batch mates would enter the corporate world where I am told man’s sense of the left brain blunts. I will do well to take care of that. But if I weren’t lazy, I wouldn’t have thought in such detail about my past, present and future, if I weren’t lazy, I wouldn’t have buried myself in wonderful pieces of literature, if I weren’t lazy I wouldn’t have watched tons of gigabytes of movies sitting princely on my sorry looking bed. I thought I would take this opportunity to mention this to my friends that after all lazy is not such a bad word.
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